My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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