Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
