Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
accomplished twins. life is a go
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
