He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
