There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
