awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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