My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
