I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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