Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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