Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize