Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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