We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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