I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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