Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize