We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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