ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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