At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
