I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
