At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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