Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
they're like a gay fantastic four
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
