Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Randomize
