How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
