Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
