I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
