I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
