If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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