JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
