I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
