I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
pray to the hookup gods
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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