I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
