I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize