butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
