remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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