Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
