It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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