I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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