He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize