So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
