she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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