well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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