Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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