awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
