If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
