If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
