can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
