His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
