Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Send help, water and tortillas.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize