I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Damn victory sex feels great
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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