If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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