TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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