Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
