so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
