My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
