You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Please, let me fuck your mom
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
