the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
