would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
