ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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