I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
